Last week in Paris, my husband and I visited Simone de Beauvoir's resting place in Montparnasse Cemetery, where other great thinkers like Jean-Paul Sartre and Samuel Beckett also lie. As we stood there, I was reminded of one of my favourite quotes from de Beauvoir:

"What an odd thing a diary is: the things you omit are more important than those you put in."

This made me reflect on how often we omit rest from our lives, focusing instead on what we accomplish (so busy). Yet, when we choose not to fill every moment with tasks, we find space for reflection, creativity, and renewal.

Our trip to Paris was initially packed with plans: a hurried 36-hour itinerary centred around watching the Olympic track and field events and finding time for a crêpe or two1. But when we arrived, we were surprised to see the city unexpectedly quiet—delightfully, peacefully empty, making it the most serene global event I've ever experienced.

This calmness, so different from the anticipated hustle and bustle, gave us the gift of unplanned rest and exploration.

Standing by de Beauvoir's grave in that tranquil setting, it struck me how valuable it is to sometimes step away from a jam-packed schedule. The city's unexpected calm allowed us to pause, to reflect, and to truly relax — something that wasn't part of our original plan but became the highlight of our trip.

Making time for rest isn't just about avoiding burnout—it's about creating a sustainable rhythm in our lives where rest is valued as much as productivity. After all, what we choose to leave out can sometimes speak louder than what we choose to include.

So, here’s a little reminder: Make time for rest. Don’t just wait for it to happen. Your future self will thank you.

Recommended reading: Rest Is Resistance: Free yourself from grind culture and reclaim your life.

It is sticky and hot. In the Northern Hemisphere, we are in the mid-swing of summer. The photo above is from the Truso Gorge in Georgia, where I spent ten days hiking, eating, drinking, being sluiced in a Tbilisi bathhouse, and sleeping all night. Pictures do not do the wonders of Georgia justice.

A quick reintroduction:

I’m Amber, an organisational psychologist, writer, and digital strategist. Originally from Aotearoa, New Zealand, I lived in London for a decade and now live in Monaco, Côte d'Azur.

I write about creativity, curiosity, living and working better.

So, what about the radio silence?

Despite being deeply interested in personal well-being and work-life balance, I am not immune to fatigue and the feeling of being the dead wick of a candle.

I returned to full-time work, studied French, and applied for multiple visas to stay in Europe.

I took a week-long social media and newsletter break in February.

Which turned into weeks. Months.

Épuisé. Exhausted.

How did I pull myself out of it?

The salve of travel.

In February, in what I might call a fugue state, I spontaneously booked two solo trips: the first to Romania and Moldova and the second to Georgia (the country), to be taken in May/June.

While diet, pacing, and exercise helped me, the long tradition of human exploration testifies to the motivating force of novelty to evolve. Travel kicked me back into the taste, textures and joys of life.

While I appreciate that not everyone can afford to drop the cash or take the time to travel (I am very lucky), exploration can be as simple as a new fancy drink, a lane you’ve never turned down before.

A change of scene, change of pace, change of outlook.

What else?

I finally have my carte de séjour, which provided instant relief; I’ve found balance (and hacks) to juggle work and other commitments. I discovered magnesium bisglycinate pills at bedtime, and I am attempting to stop overthinking. I decided to stop caring about what people think of my French accent — an accent is a sign of learning.

I’ll leave you with a quote from Ann Handley, who says:

The most important part of the newsletter is the letter, not the news.

I hope to write more letters soon,

Amber

Dark, moody days have their beauty, but the length of winter can be a challenge, especially as February looms. The weather can not only dampen your mood but your creative spirits too. In fact, a 2007 study on the creativity of Italian writers suggested that writers have a higher seasonal sensitivity than the general population.

(Apologies to any antipodean readers; you may have to sit on this one for six months, although you’re probably out frolicking in the sun, not checking your email.)

How to nourish your creativity during the colder months

Winter may be dreary, but it's also an opportunity to rekindle change. Even small shifts in your daily life can lead to giant creative leaps. For example, changing the foods you eat (literally spicing up your life) or your clothing style can stimulate creativity.

One example is dopamine dressing, wherein you choose what you wear based on your desired mood, whether influenced by colour, pattern or even form. 

While we would all love a holiday, even a new scene can spark fresh ideas. Consider a drive or a train ride for a change of pace. The other week, my husband and I rented a Fiat 500E in France and drove along the Moyen Corniche — the main road between Monaco and Nice. Vince and I usually take the train, so this allowus to have ed a different perspective of the landscape (as depicted below in Monet’s vision).

Changing your perspective can offer a simple but effective way to refresh your mindset and find inspiration in the unexpected.

Likewise, if you're stuck, try switching gears and working on something else for a while. This tactic can surprisingly re-energise your original project, as a bit of jealousy from the neglected project might do the trick.

You can also return to basic, fundamental tasks to jump-start your creativity. This approach can be a refreshing break from more complex projects. When I’m bogged down with some of my freelance work, I switch mediums, e.g. from article idea generation to SEO writing, to reset my brain. Sometimes, simplicity is key.

Finally, collaboration can be a game-changer.

Working with a friend, even virtually, can bring new perspectives and accountability, boosting your creative output. I’ve been working in a writing challenge group this January, and getting my work done “on time” has been highly motivating.

Embracing the cycle as a gateway

Winter's quiet is ideal for reflection — perhaps it’s worth leaning in and using it as liminal space? A contemplative state can be a fertile ground for new ideas.

Think about your past creative endeavours and plans for the future. Likewise, draw inspiration from the dark; observe and find inspiration in the early morning light or the quiet of a grey landscape.

As I wrote this piece, an article popped up on my news reader, reconfirming this notion: ‘Wintering’ is the work trend to watch. Martha Bird, a farmer, says:

“Wintering is a notion near and dear to farmers […] When I think of wintering, the first thing I think about is that it is an acceptance that things are seasonal.”

Bird also speaks about the microbial processes going on underground, waiting for spring. You can’t have a renewal period without fallow times, too — nature knows best.

Another natural is back-burning forests, where trees depend on fire to clear out the competition of other plants and release their seeds. For instance, giant redwood trees require fire to reproduce: the cones open after a fire releases their seeds. They also use their reserves, sometimes hundreds of years old.

Wintering, of course, is the title of ’s iconic book Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times. Another title I have enjoyed is  Winters in the World: A Journey through the Anglo-Saxon Year by Eleanor Parker, which is not strictly just about winter but provides a look at the seasonal events and observations of the Anglo-Saxons.

Every season has a reason

The good news is the days are getting longer. In London on the first of February, the sun will rise at 07:41 and set at 16:49, giving nine hours of daylight. Here, we’ll have nearly ten hours. The countdown to Aperol season is on… Slowly.

In the meantime, why not embrace the inherent stillness? By shifting your perspective and routine, you can find new sources of inspiration and keep the creative flames burning all winter.

Resolutions. There’s a lot, A LOT, of chat about goal-setting at this time of the year, and I completely understand if you’re a bit overwhelmed because I am, too. 

Some people adore having a deep, complicated structure of goals, while others relish in the shallows of a new year, same old me. I don’t think any French people I know even believe in them.

Ideas for better resolutions

Loads of clever people have already suggested making the most of a new year, so I’ve rounded up a few of my favourite ideas below:

01. Control the controllable

suggests that you set expectations and identify the ‘controllables’ with a wish and goal:

“If you’re game, break your hopes down into two parts like I do: “wishes” (an outcome you can’t control) and “goals” (something you can control). For example “I want to get an agent” is a wish: though you can certainly set yourself up to achieve this goal, you can’t control the outcome, while “I want to cut twenty thousand words from my novel” is something you can control for, so that would be a goal.”

The idea relates to your locus of control: people who develop a strong internal locus of control believe they are responsible for their success. Those with an external locus of control believe that external forces, like luck, determine their outcomes.

Read the full post here.

02. Embrace simplicity

To keep things simple, suggests a more/less list:

“Last year I came across the more/less list and it struck me as a super easy way, not to resolve to do anything, necessarily, but to remind yourself what matters to you. And what doesn’t. So I’m updating mine for 2024.”

What’s nice about the list is that it’s drawn, not overwrought, and if you’re terrible at drawing like me, you could probably even use emojis. That said, I will give it a go and post one on Instagram tomorrow.

Read the full post here.

03. Laser focus

Do you have the exact same resolution as last year? To achieve it, recommends you ask a single question:

“The big question you need to answer is this: What will make this year different as opposed to any other year?”

She delivers a harsh truth: if you don’t know what will make this year different, it won’t be any different from the others you’ve had. Same input = same output. I think about it a lot, especially regarding organisations and cultural change.

Read the full post here.

04. Make a lifestyle change

James Clear, author of the book Atomic Habits, says:

“New goals don't deliver new results. New lifestyles do. And a lifestyle is a process, not an outcome. For this reason, all of your energy should go into building better habits, not chasing better results.”

Changing your lifestyle can be a daunting task. Psychologists suggest altering a single behaviour, taking it one step at a time. One effective technique is habit stacking, which involves layering a new behaviour on top of an existing one. This helps you remember to do it and minimises the mental effort required. Alternatively, you can make a task more tolerable by adding something enjoyable to it. For instance, I used to listen to podcasts only while washing dishes by hand, turning something I disliked into something I looked forward to. Habit stacking capitalises on the potent synaptic connections we already have.

05. Future-forecasting

suggests looking into a well-polished crystal ball and making some optimistic forecasts for what you’d like to achieve:

Imagine it is 12 months into the future in January 2025 and that you’ve exceeded what you envisaged above beyond your wildest imagination. And, out loud, complete this sentence:

“The past year has been the best year of my life because…”

Read the full post here.

06. Action-based, not outcome-based

proposes that we’re doing it all wrong. His suggestion is to focus on action-based goals, not outcome-based goals. Similar to the concept of controllables, this helps you focus on the process, not the outcome. The given example is “Read for 30 minutes every day.”

This approach helps you increase your chances of success by making daily progress rather than aiming for a year-end goal. Read at your own pace, prioritising quality over quantity, and feel free to stop anytime, guilt-free, as the aim is to read for 30 minutes, not to complete 30 books.

Read the full post here.

Bonus reading hack: Download the Kindle app (or one of your choice) and change the setting from pagination to Continuous Scrolling. If you can manage scrolling through five minutes of a book while waiting for an appointment, great! Sneak in two minutes while the pasta boils. The scroll has helped me read with my “mobile-first” attention span.

07. Let it go

Finally, how do you set goals when you don’t know what you want? ditches the notion we need to be productive, simply human beings:

We don’t have to constantly be productive and working towards something all the time. Maybe it’s okay to admit our goals aren’t ready yet to be spoken into existence. Maybe it’s okay to take a moment to pause, rather than trying to rush through a set of intentions just because it happens to be the season. Maybe, it’s time to let go of always having to justify our value with our sense of purpose.

Read the full post here.

I feel this, but often, I quite like a bit of slippery purpose anxiety to move me towards action. For example, signing up for a course or committing to someone else, such as a language class. Something to get out of my own head and decisions for a while.

After all this, I haven’t set any goals or made resolutions.

We’ve already passed “Quitter's Day,” the second Friday in January, when people will most likely give up on their resolutions. Today is the so-called “Blue Monday”, the third Monday in January, which is said to be the bleakest (however, it was made up by a travel company in the UK to flog more holidays).

However, in the spirit of things, I will set a word this year: stability. I'm hoping for a bit of it after 200 days on the road in 2023, hopping from Airbnb to hotel to spare bedroom. With the cat.

My secondary word is acceptance because, as someone close to me astutely observed, “Your life [circumstances] is more stable than it’s ever been, and it makes you anxious.” Ouch. Sometimes, a clear insight from someone else is more helpful than anything we imagine ourselves.

So, with that in mind, what goals, intentions or resolutions, if any, are you setting for 2024?

Wishing you all the best,
Amber

Personal relationships can begin to frisson with energy as we navigate the holiday season, much like main street Christmas lights on the blink. Some of this feeling can be pinned on being in close quarters with people you might spend little time with throughout the year. The problem might be that you’re smack-bang in the middle of a group of guessers.

What is an ask vs a guess culture?

Ask culture

An ask culture is a communication style where people are more direct and comfortable asking for what they want or need. In an ask culture, individuals feel comfortable and empowered to make requests and are willing to accept a "no" answer if necessary. People in ask cultures tend to assume that if they need or want something, they should ask for it rather than expecting others to intuit their needs.

Guess culture

On the other hand, a guess culture is a communication style where people tend to be more indirect and hesitant in making requests or expressing needs. In a guess culture, individuals rely on social cues and subtle hints to convey their needs or desires rather than explicitly asking for them.

People in guess cultures assume that others will intuit their needs and desires and may feel uncomfortable making requests for fear of seeming presumptuous or selfish (see also my article on Tall Poppy Syndrome).

How did ask vs guess emerge?

Linguist Alan Fiske first introduced these terms, describing two approaches to social interactions and communication styles. Both ask and guess cultures have advantages and disadvantages, and individuals may adapt their communication style based on the context and the people they are interacting with.

Way back in 2008, this Ask Metafilter question was posted. It concerns a distant friend, who emails the original poster (OP) asking if they can stay with them during a NYC visit1. The OP is somewhat outraged and wonders why the friend “attempted to invite herself to stay with us”?

The whole thread is a wild read until Andrea Donderi steps in and educates the crowd. This response has become a cult classic, bringing ask vs guess into the popular psyche.

Am I an asker or a guesser?

If you’re still unsure, I find it helpful to think about the different cultures we’ve grown up in. Whether you’re spending time with your family of origin — yet you’ve spread your wings and grown your perspectives or, like me, in a relationship with someone from a different country. (I think we have had about five baffling conversations this year dedicated to the requirements of American Christmas cards.)

For example, you might enjoy spending time with your relatives, but you sometimes second-guess decisions and wonder how to make requests when you think the answer is a no. There may be anxiety involved — congratulations, you’re a guesser. 

“Your boss, asking for a project to be finished early, may be an overdemanding boor – or just an Asker, who's assuming you might decline. If you're a Guesser, you'll hear it as an expectation. This is a spectrum, not a dichotomy, and it explains cross-cultural awkwardnesses, too: Brits and Americans get discombobulated doing business in Japan, because it's a Guess culture, yet experience Russians as rude because they're diehard Askers.” — Oliver Burkeman

However, remember, it doesn’t always hurt to ask; (US-based) researchers have found that people who ask questions are perceived as more responsive, an interpersonal construct that captures listening, understanding, validation, and care. Ask questions and appear more likeable.

So the question is: are you an asker or a guesser? What about your colleagues? Your family? Your culture? Ultimately, it depends on how well you know the people you’re engaging with and how comfortable you are. Perhaps you have a foot in both camps.

But whatever the answer, remember that no is a complete sentence, and “I’m sorry that won’t be possible” is also perfectly acceptable.

That’s it for Plein-Air this year; enjoy the rest of the season, and talk to you in 2024!

Amber

It’s an idiom that marks people as different, wayward, or deviant. Etymonline describes a black sheep as a “person of bad character; member of some group guilty of offensive conduct that does little credit to the flock, family, or community to which he belongs.”

The origins of the idiom

There are several theories about the phrase's origin, some biblical and some economic — there seems to be no reference to racism. Gary Martin suggests it might be due to the penchant of English texts to cast black cats, magic, mountains, and other things in a dark light. However, black sheep were at one point considered omens by farmers, right up until the late 19th century, with the Folk Lore Record of 1978 stating, “We speak figuratively of the one black sheep that is the cause of sorrow in a family; but in its reality, it is regarded by the Sussex shepherd as an omen of good luck to his flock.”

Shout out to Somerset, Kent and Derbyshire shepherds, who are also on record as fans. Despite this, black wool was considered commercially undesirable because it couldn’t be dyed.

A well-travelled sheep

It’s not just English where this phrase is found — the image above is from Pecora Negra, a fantastic pizza restaurant in the French/Italian border town of Menton. Perhaps it’s the family's black sheep because the other restaurant in the group is Michelin-starred. In this household, we love it anyway. There’s a similar phrase in German, French (à chaque troupeau sa brebis galeuse, a black sheep in every herd), Porthuese, Greek and more.

The phrase white crow illustrates the same concept in other languages: for example, belaya vorona in Russian and kalāg-e sefīd in Persian.

Black sheep in psychology

The “black sheep effect” in psychology refers to the tendency of group members to judge more harshly those members who deviate from the group norm, compared to similar judgments made about non-members. This phenomenon is observed mainly when a group member's behaviour negatively reflects the group's image or reputation. These deviants (gasp!) can also threaten personal identities (Eidelman and Biernat).

There are, of course, many other sheep-themed idioms; one of my favourites compares people to sheep, labelling them foolish, docile and easily led, AKA sheeple.

Reframing the sentiment

There is a lot of research on why cognitive and other types of diversity are so important in organisations. While I have many questions about being the black sheep in a family, this newsletter tackles working better, and it’s essential to realise the role it can play in groups outside of the home.

As an overview, Dr Vivienne Ming has written a fantastic evidence-based article on why diversity and trust lift innovation and productivity. For example, a study of London companies found that diverse management teams, in terms of ethnicity and immigration status, produced more product innovations than their competitors.

Often, the phrase black sheep is taken as a negative. Perhaps, if you’re a black sheep, it helps to think of the positives. Maybe it reflects your creativity and divergent ways of thinking. Black wool can’t be dyed? Fantastic, perhaps this reflects a skill of critical thought. You stand out from the herd, and the benefits of this are immense.

I believe an organisation should never hire someone for culture fit — as that creates a homogenous group. The alternative of culture add is more appropriate as a principle: appreciating what people bring to the table is much more enjoyable and beneficial. 

Questions to flip the script

Here are some prompts focussed on the workplace or other situations — sports teams, educational settings — where you might have a woolly one within your midst. The questions are designed to help you reflect and possibly change the narrative from “different means bad” to “Oh, this could be interesting…”

• Observing reactions: How have I seen the group react to members who deviate from these norms? Are the reactions different from how the group reacts to non-members exhibiting similar behaviours?

• Personal responses: How do I react when a group member deviates from the norm? Do I feel a more substantial need to respond or correct this behaviour compared to when a non-member does the same?

• Handling nonconformity: How does this group typically handle nonconformity? Is there a process for addressing behaviours outside the norm, and is it applied consistently?

These questions help you observe the black sheep effect, differential treatment within/outside the group, and your role in group dynamics.

It's important to prod and poke at your biases, and understanding how your group deals with nonconformity can reveal a lot about the group's values and your role in upholding or challenging them.

🐑 Until next time,
Amber

If I’m not working, I’m browsing. My idea of a great night in? Watching a film, reading an article, or playing a game on my phone. At the same time. 

For example, Pixar’s Inside Out 2 was announced a few weeks ago, so I watched the first film (only eight years late to the party!) 

… While simultaneously googling which emotions they left out, what’s the name of that guy on Seinfeld, easter-eggs, how far is it to drive from Minnesota to San Francisco… Ooh, new work email. Overstimulation 101.

While watching the characters work to find balance and reading about the film was vetted by neuroscientists, I thought, maybe this behaviour isn’t great for our brains? An "always-on" multi-tasking culture has become the norm. So, inspired by my new favourite film, here’s an exploration of downtime and how to give your brain a break.

Stress vs. rest

Your brain operates in two primary states: the sympathetic ("fight or flight") and the parasympathetic (rest and digest). While the sympathetic state helps you tackle deadlines and work pressures, prolonged exposure can lead to chronic stress, negatively impacting your health. It’s all about balance, baby. Just like the characters in "Inside Out" — who all got tired, clocked off work and went to bed — your emotions and brain need time to process and rest.

Recognise stress, embrace the chill

Identifying when you're stressed is kind of important, and the sooner you can do it, the better. Signs include increased heart rate, tension, and rapid breathing. Once you notice, it's important to switch gears. This doesn't mean changing from work to another form of mental engagement like social media. Proper downtime involves activities that allow your brain to rest differently.

Rumination is characterised by “repetitively focusing on the fact that one is depressed; on one's symptoms of depression; and the causes, meanings, and consequences of depressive symptoms.”

Important! For some people, me included, downtime can lead to rumination – a spiral of negative thoughts or brooding. Yes, it’s the negativity bias again, so this is where making an active choice to be mindful becomes essential. It's about finding a balance — allowing your brain time to wander without letting negative thoughts take over. 

Transitioning from a work-focused mindset to a relaxed state is a useful skill. This conscious shift is essential (and is when imposing liminal space can be extremely helpful). You're giving your brain the rest it deserves and enhancing its capacity to handle stress better.

My number one idea for marking the end of the working day is to create a post-work ritual, a consistent routine that signals the end of your workday.

This could be as simple as shutting down your computer, tidying your desk, or changing out of your work clothes. We heard so much about this during the pandemic, but the advice is still valid; it’s a psychological cue that work is over.

Next, disconnect from digital distractions and be present in the moment. Some ideas include:

• Setting aside time each day to be alone in your thoughts, no phones or devices. 

• Get outside. Nature = happiness, according to numerous researchers.

• A mindful breathing session can help calm the nervous system and shift your state from stress to relaxation.

• Find your non-work jam. I love to cook dinner; switching from a brain-based activity to a hand/sensory-based task works well for me.

• Go for a walk. Scientists have found that when we walk, our foot hits the ground and creates a pressure wave that travels to the heart and then communicates with the brain. This wave ensures that the brain receives enough oxygen to stay healthy. Every brain cell requires oxygen to function correctly, and if we fail to deliver it, it becomes challenging to think, be productive, and manage our emotions. It sounds simple, but… Stroll, don’t scroll.

Final thoughts

You’re probably not surprised to hear that downtime improves mental and physical health, enhances work performance, and boosts overall life satisfaction. 

Once you’ve mastered the work transition, you can start finding other moments in life to zone out mindfully. Arianna Huffington suggests the great British queue as a chance to slow down and practice mindfulness:

“Instead of letting the frequent wailing of sirens irritate us, we could use the sound to remind us to take a pause and notice the moment. At the traffic crossing, instead of being impatient for the green man, appreciate how the red man gives us a chance to stop, breathe and look around.”

Our brains need time to rest, process, and rejuvenate. In a world that constantly demands more and more attention, giving your brain the break it deserves isn't just a luxury – it's a necessity.

I’m off for a walk,
Amber

Angélique is a Beninese-French singer-songwriter, actress, and activist. I was first introduced to her via her Talking Heads cover album Remain In Light, which reclaims and reinterprets the afrobeat-inspired original.

And if you’re not familiar with Yo-Yo, he’s one of the best-known cellists of his generation. On my voyages, I found this sweet video of him as a 7-year-old playing for JFK:

What impresses me is how Yo-Yo has managed to sustain joy and focus in his work, even after 61 years in the public eye.

Results = Sustained Focus + Curiosity

When I say results, I don’t necessarily mean the mainstream, normative version of “success” — fame, awards, financial rewards, blah-blah-blah. Instead, results mean the ability to keep doing what you’re doing in a way that maintains your interest and passion. Photographer Man Ray said, “There is no progress in art, any more than there is progress in making love. There are simply different ways of doing it.”

Sustained focus is not about staying in your lane but honing your craft. It reminds me of Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours of practice theory, in which it takes that long to become an expert or maestro in a given field. Rather than create a revolution, what is the evolution of your work?

Curiosity is a sense of wonder: experimentation, innovation, creative problem-solving and asking questions to learn. As soon as you stop asking questions, you stop learning. 

Yo-Yo Ma hasn’t pivoted to become a politician or a filmmaker; he’s consistently focused on his talent. But, there is doing the same thing, and then there’s doing the same thing with curiosity. 

Curiosity has allowed him to keep playing and performing — everything from founding Silkroad, a collective of traditional musicians worldwide, to a cover of Ed Sheeran’s Shape of You [▶ listen on Spotify].

How do you spark your curiosity?

If you’re already an extremely curious person, you can skip this section. If not, like me, you sometimes need a little kindling, continue reading…

Firstly, we all need to fight the power within. Negativity bias is a massive barrier to us as adults — we are programmed to avoid the uncomfortable and rely on trusted “feelings” as opposed to facts. You might be surprised to hear that two-thirds of our beautiful brains are dedicated to sniffing out bad things.

“The amygdala—the brain region that regulates emotion and motivation—uses about two-thirds of its neurons to detect bad negative news” — Dr. Rick Hanson

Secondly, unlike children, adults do not possess an automatic sense of curiosity, but by cultivating it, we can achieve better results. A NASA study found that 98% of kids between the ages of 4 and 5 possess the traits of a "creative genius”; however, that rapidly dwindles. Five years later, only 30% of the same group of children scored the same, and then, when tested as teenagers, only 12%. Only 2% of adults achieved this genius level.

The good news is that if experimentation, innovation, and creative problem-solving are skills we are born with, we can reclaim them; we have to put in the effort and focus on how we think.

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Focus on how you think

We must consciously slow down our thinking, ask why and keep our eyes open. And it’s okay to start small.

Seek out new inputs, whether walking a different path to the shop or trying a new dish. You could try daily journaling prompts. As I need to remind myself constantly (thanks, negative brain!), we must let go of the need to succeed; failure is the first opportunity to learn. 

Or find out the answers to things you’ve always wondered about (queue the Wikipedia rabbit hole). Identifying knowledge gaps sparks curiosity and engagement. No question is stupid if it leads to a desire to learn more.

Now that our eyes are opening, you can apply curiosity to work, your passions, and your personal life. Start to ladder up into more significant questions: What happens if I combine this technique with that technique? What happens if we break the expectations of society? What happens if we flip the script?

Fun fact: Curiosity has a proven impact on businesses' bottom line.

Next steps

My next step in curiosity is… spending a Friday night listening to two masters of their crafts come together, wondering what it might sound like if a cello virtuoso comes together with a singer of everything from world music to jazz. I also commit to trying Writer’s Hours at the London Writer’s Salon for a week.

What are yours? How can you commit to being a little more curious? I’d love to know — hit reply and share.

Amber

It’s all too easy to forget the good stuff and vividly dwell on the bad. According to Laura Carstensen, a psychology professor at Stanford University, we tend to remember the negative more than the positive. However, it's important to celebrate the small wins, especially in the workplace, to counteract this negativity bias.

Today, I wanted to explore a simple yet impactful practice: celebrating the small wins, especially in your work life, to counteract this negativity bias. This concept is rooted in positive psychology and is backed by research from experts like Teresa Amabile from Harvard Business School. 

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Why should you care about small wins?

Teresa researched nearly 12,000 daily diary entries from over 200 professionals to create the Progress Principle. She, along with her husband and fellow researcher, Steven Kramer, found achieving consistent, small wins was the most significant indicator of a rich inner work life; in turn, this enables people to be more productive, more engaged, and more creative in the work that they do.

The science behind small wins

Our brains are hardwired to respond to rewards. Your brain releases dopamine when you achieve something, no matter how minor. This neurotransmitter is like a natural mood booster that enhances motivation and attention. It's your brain's way of saying, "Good job! Do it again." 

It’s time to party like it’s a Tuesday

You might think that waiting for a major achievement to celebrate would have a more significant impact on your well-being. However, research shows that the opposite is true. Celebrating small wins more frequently keeps you engaged and motivated. It constantly reminds you that you're on the right path, boosting your confidence and sense of purpose.

The PERMA Model and Accomplishment

The PERMA model, a well-known framework in positive psychology, illustrates what you need to achieve well-being in your everyday life. Alongside Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, and Meaning, Accomplishment is one of its key elements. This model suggests that however small, recognising and celebrating your achievements can significantly contribute to your overall well-being.

How to celebrate small wins

Track your progress. Make it a habit to jot down your small achievements daily, perhaps before bed. I use the Keep app on my phone (yep, team google over here). Or you could use a paper journal specifically set aside for this purpose. This practice boosts your motivation and helps you appreciate the journey, as discussed in my article Working Hard for Everyone Else. 

Be mindful. Take some time to appreciate the little things you've done well. Recognise the successes of those around you as well. These moments also allow us to reflect on how far we've come, which gives us the motivation to keep going.

Make celebrating the small stuff a part of your daily routine. What can you celebrate today? The next time you downplay a minor achievement, remember its potential impact on your well-being. So, what small win can you celebrate today? Today, I’m jotting down that I reached the end of B1 in French and that I’ve reached the next stage of my visa application. Bravo!

Need permission to celebrate? Well, this is it. Celebrating small wins is not just a feel-good activity; it's a science-backed practice that can significantly improve your well-being and motivation. So, start small, but celebrate big. Your brain will thank you for it.

Kia kaha,
Amber

It's a curious thing: we often accomplish more for others than ourselves. If you've ever marvelled at your productivity when working for someone else, only to stall on personal projects, you're not alone.

Just this week, I pondered why I was flying through my paid work but ignoring the newsletter. You could call it procrastination, but why? Today, I want to look deeper at the reasons behind lavishing attention on what we do for others and letting our own work wither.

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1. Seeking Approval

We thrive on others' recognition. A Slack emoji, a shout-out on LinkedIn or a gratifying performance review. It's immediate and gratifying. Unfortunately, our projects lack this external cheerleading, leading us to put them aside for a day, a week, a year, a lifetime. 

Solution: Cultivate self-validation.

Ah, yes, the challenge is as old as time: your internal approval must become as satisfying as anyone else's. Set personal milestones and celebrate them without external input and minus any embarrassment.

Recently, I read a newsletter from Harriet Minter, who likens procrastination to Gottman's bid theory:

"I’ve stopped seeing [procrastination] as a failing and instead started seeing it as a bid for kindness or fun. When I sit with why I’m procrastinating, it nearly always comes back to a fear of not being good enough and a need for some gentle self-compassion."

2. Ease of Direction

It's easier to go with the flow. Others provide a roadmap for us, making it more straightforward to start. Our ideas require more effort to shape and develop, and that initial push can be daunting.

Solution: Plan thoroughly.

Sketch out your projects as if you were briefing them to someone else. The habit of self-briefing can provide the clarity needed to begin. Likewise, a deadline may help! Put it on your calendar and get to work.

3. Fear of Failure

When working under someone, the blame is shared. On our own, the buck stops with us, and that's a heavy load to carry — and getting into a shame spiral about the what-ifs can be very destructive.

Solution: Embrace failure as a natural part of personal growth.

When you're the sole player, every setback is a lesson, not a defeat. Likewise, I’ve recently decided I’m not the right person to decide whether I’m “good enough” for opportunities; someone else can take that load. 

For example, I have had a “perfectly fine” completed book proposal on my desktop for months. I need to let other people decide whether it’s for them instead of opting out of the process by never even beginning to submit. 

Another tactic to conquer failure is to consider it an investment for your future self. Gretchen Rubin, the queen of happiness,  has a good article on this. It’s a cliche for a reason: the best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago; the second best time is today.

4. Waiting for Permission 

We're conditioned to follow orders, not to self-start. This ingrained habit can leave us passive about our ambitions. Likewise, there is comfort in the predictable rewards of working for others (whether that’s a salary, routine “I’ll have a coffee on the way to the office”, or, again, recognition). Often, our activities are less specific, making them less appealing.

Solution: Practise self-direction.

Set daily intentions. Begin each day with a clear plan of what you want to achieve for yourself, not just in response to others. Get all Nike and just do it.

Likewise, you can start to realign your reward system. Recognise the value in the process, not just the outcome. Find joy in the doing — It's not the destination; it's the journey — and the results can be a bonus.

5. Accountability Works

We push harder when someone else keeps tabs or has set the deadline. Without this external accountability, our personal projects can flounder.

Solution: Create a system of self-accountability.

Share your goals with a trusted friend, or keep a progress journal. Make your commitments to yourself as binding as those to others. I haven’t tried it myself yet, but I have heard very positive things about spaces like London Writer’s Salon and their co-working sessions — daily writing sprints.

Final thoughts

Essentially, we're battling against ingrained habits and the lure of immediate rewards. But awareness is the first step to change. And let me be the first to confess that I am incredibly guilty of falling into the above traps.

By recognising these patterns, we can apply the same discipline to our private endeavours as we do when we work for other people. It's about finding internal motivation and holding ourselves accountable—just as we would for any external client.

Cheering you on,
Amber

I’m back in the Côte d'Azur this week; our pantry is stocked with American condiments from Chicago, the French have resumed la grève (strike action), and the days are slightly cooler. Still, it's not quite the season to wear scarves, and pumpkin-spiced lattes are nowhere to be found!

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🏆 Nobel Prize for Economics: Women in Work
Dr Claudia Goldin (Harvard bio) has won the Nobel Prize for Economics for her research on women and work participation, including the gender pay gap, having agglomerated 200 years of American workplace data. One of her findings is that women's educational choices have an unexpectedly lasting impact on their later career options after child-raising or caregiving.

💵 Swiftonomics

Maria Psyllou, an economist at the University of Birmingham, shares an academic take on Taylor Swift’s boon to communities (beyond fans' happiness), Taylor Swift's Eras tour: A harmonious overture of the trickle-down effect on local economies.

🔧 Cool tool

Get AI-powered video summaries for any YouTube video summarize.tech. It does what it says on the tin.

💙 Check in on those around you

World Mental Health Day took place this week on October 10. The conversation doesn't stop there, however. Much like our physical health, mental health needs to be cared for every day. This video from Norwich City Football Club and the Samaritans made me blub.

🧠 Learning better
Something I think about a lot is how to have a good learning experience. While this article specifically discusses language, it covers the three things you need to define: autonomy, mastery (to what level) and purpose (why you are doing it).

Similarly, I recently heard about the 3-2-1 retention technique from the Cross Academy, a learning tool repository. While targeted at teachers, it’s easy to apply 3-2-1 as a student: you need to record three things you learned, two things you found particularly interesting, and one thing you still have questions about.

🙅‍♀️ Protect Ya Neck
How boundaries became the rules for mental health—and explain everything. Boundary Issues, an article by Lily Scherlis.

🍹 One data colada, please
Buckle up because if — like me — you’re a fan of both psychology and scandal, this article in the New Yorker about behavioural economist Dan Ariely’s work is a treat. Highlights include falsifying data around dishonesty, retractions, and a blog named Data Colada.

“[A] field cannot reward truth if it does not or cannot decipher it, so it rewards other things instead. Interestingness. Novelty. Speed. Impact. Fantasy. And it effectively punishes the opposite. Intuitive Findings. Incremental Progress. Care. Curiosity. Reality.”

👀 In case you missed it…

Leave a comment

Hello from Illinois, home of the Bears, spray paint, pinball machines, the first McDonald's restaurant, and my husband. Here’s what I’ve been reading lately:

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💪🏼 Women in Music: Building a Strong Music Community for Gender Equality. An article by me for the team at Byta, about the elements you need to build a community. And it’s not just about music — early feedback from a friend; “I feel a sense of pride that my [female] football community hits the four criteria.”

💸 You’ve Got (Scam) Mail (NYT gift link). Is everyone being swindled all the time and just not talking about it?

💀 Have you ever thought about the digital version of Swedish death cleaning? With the number of dead users on Facebook predicted to outnumber the living by 2070, tech platforms haven’t been designed to think about death.

🧲 Magnetic’s take on how to meet evolving employee expectations. One part that stuck out to me: “Even for a person who stays in their role for the next five years, the skills required are predicted to change by as much as 50%,” — how can employers keep this person in work and engaged?

🔥 Similarly, it is reported that many employees fear how AI will impact their jobs in the coming years. I find that learning more about the subject is the best way to conquer anxieties. With this in mind, here’s a layperson’s guide to how AI large language models work.

📚 What I’m reading on Substack this week: Make Work Better:

Make Work Better

Why did you send a bot to my meeting?

Expired Why didn’t you come in for my meeting? Tired Why were you camera off in my meeting? Wired Why did you send a bot to my meeting? Have you tried sending a bot to a meeting in place of you yet? The feature, which is on general release on Google Workspace…

Read more

3 years ago · 13 likes · Bruce Daisley

P.S. I’m not sure about you, but I’ve been feeling down from all the doom and gloom recently. Here’s a palate cleanser for everyone’s wellbeing: the first baby beaver in 400 years has been born in London.

When we moved to the Côte d'Azur in March, I spoke zero French. Nada. Nothing. So, I enrolled at Alliance Français Nice to learn the basics. It was initially for two weeks, but fast forward to six months of classes for 20 hours a week, and I’m closing in on the end of B1. According to the Common European Framework of Reference for Languages (CEFR), that’s an intermediate proficiency.

Amongst the conjugations, dictations, and passé composé, I’ve learned a lot of things I never expected about collaboration, grit and growth mindsets. In sum, it’s been a field experiment for my interest in how humans work. Today, for something a little different, I wanted to share those lessons.

The lessons

Take the chance to craft your elevator pitch. 

When I started my French classes, I waffled and didn’t feel confident when sharing my story. Why am I here? Who am I? Why should you care? Over time, I’ve met tens of new people a week; because I constantly have to introduce myself, I have refined the elevator pitch into something I believe in and can deliver in 30 seconds.

Direct your energy where you want to succeed. 

Or, to use a favourite metaphor, the grass is greener where you water it. If I don’t make time for my French lessons, I won’t learn, and only I will suffer. I pay by the class — so I waste my money and time if I don’t show up. Also, by showing up, I mean coming with the right mindset, ready to listen and open to new ideas. Some weeks, it feels like I am going backwards, but I force myself to continue. The proof: I couldn’t count past three in French in March. Today, I can listen to and understand a podcast. Not perfectly, but close.

Cultivate a growth mindset.

When I stick my hand up to answer a question and leave my comfort zone, I give myself an extra chance to refine my knowledge because failure is the first learning opportunity. Yes, it’s embarrassing, but this is the GOLDEN TICKET to improvement—instant feedback.

We need liminal space to change gears. 

I haven’t regularly commuted for several years but now travel from Monaco to Nice every weekday. It’s a chance for me to look out the window, listen to a podcast or do my homework. It is also a liminal space between my immersive French classes (where English is forbidden). Without it, my brain wouldn’t have the opportunity to reflect on the day’s lesson OR prepare for the next activity.

A shared goal overcomes all challenges.

With classmates from Europe, Central Asia, South America and beyond, I’ve had a front-row seat watching people from different backgrounds interact and react to challenges. Some of us are refugees, some are retired, and some have never lived away from home. Yet, we can still connect and find common ground because we all want to figure out the grammar rules for the plus-que-parfait how to better understand and communicate with the world. Our shared goal drives collaboration and patience.

An opinion can be formed with just one adjective. 

This nugget of wisdom is from my professor, Émilie. The level B1 French exam is about expressing and justifying an opinion. And to paraphrase her advice, you've formed an opinion if you add just a single adjective to an action (and therefore meet the marking requirements). Devastating. Juicy. Invigorating. Tarnished.

Find the character accents on Mac keyboards. 

I'm not going to lie; this one is the biggest lesson of all. On Mac, simply hold the key you’re pressing down until a menu appears on your screen, and select the accent. You’re welcome.

À bientôt !

Welcome to the weekly connection. If you abide by the US’s Labour Day decree, summer may be over, but plenty of life remains in the year. What will you do to make the most of the next third?

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🥰 Freudenfreude
Finding pleasure in another person’s good fortune is what social scientists call freudenfreude, a term (inspired by the German word for joy) that describes the bliss we feel when someone else succeeds, even if it doesn’t directly involve us. The pleasure we derive from others’ success comes with many benefits.

🥞 Ambition < Priorities
The definition of ambition has been narrowed to a desire for a higher salary and career advancement when, in fact, ambition is about creating a life that reflects one's skills and potential. How to align your ambition with your changing priorities.

🫶🏻 The power of chosen family
Who you choose shapes you. Esther Perel, an expert on relationships and sexuality, writes about The Power of Chosen Family. Similarly, I recommend her book, The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity, an examination of infidelity in romantic relationships and a way to explore what affairs can teach all lovers about healthy relationships.

👟 Slowly does it
I enjoyed this article about redefining who gets to be a runner — and how we do it. The slow running revolution: how to move at a ‘sexy’ pace – and really enjoy the race.

🪮 In case you missed it…

Growing up in New Zealand, I'm very aware of the impact culture can have on your psyche. One prominent part of Kiwi culture for me was tall poppy syndrome. When someone grows ahead - or steps outside of their place - of other people, they are reduced to the ‘size’ of others. Cutting them down ensures that no one becomes too successful and thus threatens the status quo. It was so pervasive that my high school's slogan was "growing tomorrow's tall poppies today" in an attempt to normalise success.

How did we get here?

The first recorded use of tall poppy syndrome was in 1923, in a letter to the Sydney Morning Herald. However, the phenomenon itself is much older. The idea of cutting down tall poppies is thought to have originated in ancient Greece and Rome. These cultures believed that people who became too powerful or successful threatened the community and should be cut down.

There are a few possible explanations for the origin of tall poppy syndrome. Both countries were colonised by British settlers, who brought with them their cultural values. One of these values was the idea of "keeping up with the Joneses," or striving to achieve the same level of success as their neighbours — and remnants of a harmful class system.  However, this may have led to Australians and New Zealanders developing a fear of being seen as "superior" to others and a desire to avoid standing out. In Japan, a similar expression is "the nail that sticks up gets hammered down".

Egalitarianism also played a role in developing tall poppy syndrome. Australians and New Zealand strongly believe everyone should be treated equally, regardless of background or achievements. As the chart below shows, the two countries have a much smaller “Power Distance”1 — the extent to which the less powerful members of institutions and organisations within a country expect and accept that power is distributed unequally.

Another possibility is that tall poppy syndrome is a way of dealing with envy, for instance, in the workplace. When someone sees someone else excel, they can fear competition or feel threatened by their success. This envy can lead to them criticising the successful person to make themselves feel better — a form of schadenfreude. This is even more likely if the successful person is seen as different from the others or has an unfair advantage.

Whatever the origins, tall poppy syndrome is a real phenomenon that can be found in many other countries, including the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom. In Japan, a similar expression is "the nail that sticks up gets hammered down."

Tall poppy syndrome can harm individuals and societies, discouraging people from achieving their full potential and creating a mediocrity culture. So, as much as I laughed about it at the time, growing tomorrow’s tall poppies is a move to challenge the notion and enable people to flourish.

Buckets of crabs

There are several other effects and biases similar to tall poppy syndrome that can influence social dynamics and individual behaviour. Here are some examples:

Crab Mentality: This refers to the tendency of some individuals to undermine or sabotage those trying to improve or succeed. It's as if crabs in a bucket pull down any crab that tries to climb out.

Confirmation Bias: This cognitive bias involves seeking or interpreting information that confirms one's preexisting beliefs or opinions, often leading to the dismissal or criticism of opposing viewpoints or achievements.

Law of Jante: A Scandinavian equivalent to the tall poppy syndrome, the Law of Jante originates from a 1933 novel by Aksel Sandemose. It contains rules and stipulations such as "You're not to think you are anything special" and "Perhaps you don't think we know a few things about you?".

Stereotype Threat: When individuals are aware of negative stereotypes associated with their group, they may underperform or self-sabotage to avoid confirming those stereotypes, which can limit their success.

These effects and biases can impact personal development, social relationships, and societal progress. Recognising and addressing them is essential for promoting a more supportive environment.

Questions for reflection

• What are your attitudes towards overachievers?

• Have you experienced culturally driven negativity for your successes? 

• How can tall poppy syndrome be challenged or overcome?

• What do you think the relationship is between tall poppy syndrome and envy?

“I’m sooooo busy.”
“How was your weekend? Mine was busy.”
“Sorry, can’t hang out, too busy with work.”

Do you frequently find yourself having these conversations? And perhaps emphasising your perpetual busyness like a badge of honour. Never mind the fact we’re hurtling towards the close of 2023, and despite the promises of AI and automation, we’re still busy. 

Being busy is both the feeling of being increasingly time-poor and scarcity — you’re clutching at wisps of free time. Some examples of activities considered to be busy but not productive include checking email constantly, attending meetings that are irrelevant to your work, or doing busy work — work that keeps a person occupied but has little value in itself. Sound familiar?

What makes us busy

Several factors contribute to being busy. These could include having too many commitments, taking on too much work, or being unable to refuse requests. When, in fact, “no” is a complete sentence. Often, it’s work culture that’s the culprit, where busyness is closely related to presenteeism.

Some unanticipated side effects of ‘always-on’ include a poor work-life balance, stress-related health problems, more mistakes and a decline in creativity, lower satisfaction in work and personal life and even a detachment from those around you. 

Suggested reading if you’re interested in learning more about the detrimental effects of stress: Burnout: The Secret to Solving the Stress Cycle by Amelia and Emily Nagoski.

What is productivity?

Compared to busyness, the concept of productivity means not just accomplishing tasks but achieving meaningful results. Having a productive week means achieving daily (micro) goals that set you up to ultimately achieve long-term (macro) goals—a little and often. 

Interestingly, while the term productive has been around since the 1500s, the first known use of hyperproductive was in 1966, which signals a shift in our culture and attitude to doing.

Focusing on the most important tasks and not trying to do everything simultaneously is essential to avoid burnout.

To start, let’s look at the difference between being busy and being productive. Some factors contributing to productivity include setting priorities, managing time effectively, and focusing on the most critical tasks. 

Solutions to busy

Focusing on only the most essential stuff makes it possible to be productive without being busy. This could involve learning to say no, delegating, and automating tasks whenever possible. For example, I use online tools like Zapier and TextExpander to save time.

Enter the (Eisenhower) matrix

Another helping hand I use regularly is the Eisenhower Decision Matrix, which helps me prioritise what is essential and ensure I’m not overwhelmed by my to-do list.

The Eisenhower Decision Matrix is a productivity, prioritisation, and time-management framework designed to help you prioritise tasks or agenda items by categorising them according to their urgency and importance. It sounds straightforward (and a bit lo-fi), but I love it.

The name stems from Dwight D. Eisenhower (the 34th president of the United States, serving from 1953 to 1961). In a speech, Eisenhower referenced a quote: "I have two kinds of problems, the urgent and the important. The urgent are not important, and the important are never urgent."

Stemming from that, the matrix uses four quadrants to prioritise tasks based on importance and urgency:

• DO. The first quadrant is for critical and urgent tasks which should be done immediately. Is it on fire? Yes, it is in the quadrant.

• DECIDE. The second quadrant is for necessary but not urgent tasks, which should be scheduled in order to make it happen. Think of your six-monthly hygienist appointment.

• DELEGATE. The third quadrant is for not important but urgent tasks, which can be delegated or automated. Sending reminder emails to clients with upcoming appointments.

• DELETE. The fourth quadrant is for neither critical nor urgent tasks, which can be ignored. In fact, if a job is neither essential nor urgent, it may be worth considering if they even need to be on your list. Somehow, I never got around to getting my UK driver’s licence. Something about London, amazing public transport, pandemic…

Other tools for productivity

Besides the Eisenhower Matrix, here are some other actionable methods for managing your time effectively:

• The 2-Minute Rule: If a task takes less than two minutes to complete, do it immediately rather than adding it to your to-do list. This prevents small jobs from piling up.

• The Pomodoro Technique: Named for the famous tomato-shaped timer, this involves breaking your work into intervals, typically 25 minutes of focused work followed by a 5-minute break. After completing four cycles, take an extended break of 15-30 minutes, which is suggested to help you maintain focus and prevent burnout.

• Eat That Frog: This concept, from Brian Tracy's book Eat That Frog!, suggests tackling the most challenging or important task first thing in the morning. 

• Time Tracking: Use tools to track how you spend your time — such as on your phone. This can help you identify patterns, areas of improvement, and potential time wasters. I’m looking at you, Instagram.

• Time Blocking: What gets scheduled gets done. Time blocking means planning specific blocks of time for different tasks or activities. It can help create a structured day and guard against multitasking. Which leads to…

• Batch Processing: Group and tackle similar tasks during specific time blocks. For example, dedicate time to checking and responding to emails or making phone calls.

In sum

Quite simply, being busy does not equal being productive. However, if you’re feeling stuck? Maybe it’s time to stop. Studies have shown that moving can help boost creativity, so if you’re feeling blocked on a project, take a short walk or pace while brainstorming. Or a musical interlude, my themed pick is below.

I believe that actions mean more than words, so this week, I’ll be holding myself to gentle task and trying a specific challenge: time blocking my to-do list for a week. Afterwards, I’ll reflect on the results to see if I can be more efficient in less time. Watch this space.

If you’ve got a technique that works for you, I’d love to hear about it! Shoot me a reply.

Yours in met deadlines,
Amber

The days are long and the nights are warm here in the South of France. I've been working on a few exciting projects, for starters, my friends at Byta published an article I wrote on trust and the artist/listener relationship with the rise of AI, Girl You Know It’s FAKE, named for the ignominious efforts of Milli Vanilli. 

Secondly, my friend Jen (who also happens to be the co-founder of Byta), has designed a shiny new brand identity for Plein-Air — merci beaucoup!

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🏠 The power of a home

What a landmark new study on homelessness tells us. "Lacking housing serves as a meaningful barrier to health care and income benefits, and is a key driver of discrimination in one’s daily life." (Via Kottke.)

♀️ Girl power

In the new modern age of Barbie, a recent study shows that customers prefer products made by women. Men don't indicate a preference, but women prefer to buy female-made products to support other women. And this tips the balance (Schnurr & Halkias, 2022).

✍️Concrete vs abstract language

Knowing when to use concrete vs abstract language can significantly impact how customers feel about interactions with customer service agents and purchase behaviour. For example: using concrete language significantly increases customer satisfaction and makes ideas easier to understand, more memorable, and more likely to encourage support and drive desired action. However, unsurprisingly, abstract language is more effective when aiming to inspire.

🟦 The art of Vera Molnár

Vera Molnár is hailed as one of the first artists to utilise generative computer graphics, discovering the possibilities in the mid-1960s. Impressed by the work of Le Corbusier and Fernand Léger, she aimed at a more radical, geometric style. And, at 99, she is still producing new work, including NFTs.

🔧 Entreprenurial brioclage

Cool concept: In arts or literature, bricolage is the construction or creation of work or ideas from a diverse range of available things. In France, bricolage is a do-it-yourself job or shop. It’s also a useful term for business, particularly in times of economic decline. Meet entrepreneurial bricolage:

Our intellectual abilities, emotional intelligence, and creativity are all widely recognised as critical for success in our personal and professional lives. In addition, spiritual, adversity and grit factors are also becoming increasingly important. This article delves into the meaning of these dimensions and how you measure them.

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Intelligence Quotient (IQ)

As you undoubtedly know, IQ is a measure of intelligence based on psychological tests. Formulated by psychologists like Alfred Binet and later conceptualised by psychologist William Stern, it includes skills like analytical thinking, logical reasoning, and memory. IQ tests ask questions about reading, data, verbal ability, and more. Most scores fall between 70-130.

As a measure, IQ is not without criticism. Some say the IQ test measures previously learned skills and knowledge more than underlying native ability. As illustrated in this striking passage from Tanya Khovanova’s blog, it’s hugely context-dependent, and if your culture doesn’t match the measurement tool, you’re in trouble.

You may also be surprised to hear that intelligence is not fixed. For example, researchers found, via continued testing, that teenagers' verbal and non-verbal intelligence varies by up to 20 IQ points. Results can vary depending on mindset and environmental factors such as teachers, upbringing, cultural influences, or economics.

Mullainathan and Shafir, authors of Scarcity, report that a “scarcity mindset” narrows our time frame and encourages impulsive, short-term decisions. For example, poor farmers in India perform better on cognitive tests at the end of the harvest season, when they are flush with money, rather than at the beginning. The effect is equivalent to a 13-point difference in IQ. 

MEASURE IT: Mensa offers a free online IQ test. Fun fact: "Mensa" means "table" in Latin.

Creative Quotient (CQ)

Creativity is the intelligence that produces or develops original work, theories, techniques, and thoughts. According to Dr E.P. Torrance, a leading creativity researcher, a high CQ person typically displays the following:

• Fluency (number of ideas)

• Flexibility (variety of ideas)

• Originality (uniqueness of ideas)

• Elaboration (details of ideas)

Researchers have failed to determine why one person is more creative than another, but creativity is a stable trait, meaning people are consistent in their motivations and actions over time.

“Creativity defies precise definition. This conclusion does not bother me at all. In fact, I am quite happy with it. Creativity is almost infinite. It involves every sense – sight, smell, hearing, feeling, taste and even perhaps the extrasensory. Much of it is unseen, nonverbal and unconscious. Therefore, even if we had a precise concept of creativity, I am certain we would have difficulty putting it into words.”

— Dr E. Paul Torrance

MEASURE IT: The Divergent Association Task measures verbal creativity in under 4 minutes. They suggest not reading about it before the test, but it’s fast and amusing! Likewise, the Forward Flow test works similarly, quantifying the forward motion of naturalistic thought, aka imagination.

Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Emotional intelligence involves processing and using dynamic emotional information in reasoning and other cognitive activities. Read more about Emotional Intelligence on Plein-Air. We see the term shortened as both EI and EQ, EI being the preferred academic abbreviation, and, well, EQ just rolls off the tongue. Likewise, social intelligence (SQ) is an extension or a superset of EQ.

MEASURE IT: The Bar-On EQ-i is a self-reporting measure of emotionally and socially intelligent behaviour (Bar-On, 1997) based on the big five (OCEAN) personality test.

Spiritual Intelligence (SQ)

SQ is an emerging trend that’s rapidly gaining popularity. While not technically a quotient in the mathematical sense, faith and belief play a crucial part in people’s behaviours. 

For example, a new book by Annie Ridout looks into the role instinct and holistic practices play in our lives. She shares a study observing the relationship between spirituality, health-related behaviour and psychological well-being, with “Spirituality [showing] a positive relationship with health-related behaviours.” 

Similarly, a meta-analysis links spirituality with health, revealing “ample evidence that religion/spirituality is related to better mental health: less depression, lower stress, less anxiety, greater well-being and more positive emotions.” 

MEASURE IT: While there’s a paid tool to measure spiritual intelligence, the SQ21, there is undoubtedly value in simply reflecting on the aspects of SQ. At work, why are you leading? Why do you think you exist? What is your purpose, and what guides your decisions?

Adversity Quotient (AQ) 

With strong links to resiliency, AQ describes how people react in times of crisis. Dr Paul Soltz, author of the 1997 book Adversity Quotient: Turning Obstacles into Opportunities, says, “It is the gauge – the current global gold standard – of how a person responds to the tough stuff.”

The characteristics commonly associated with individuals with a high AQ include a heightened sense of optimism, an exceptional ability to problem-solve and innovate, agility in adapting to change, and a strong sense of accountability for personal actions and decisions. These tendencies are indicators of an individual's ability to thrive in challenging situations and overcome obstacles, making them highly valued in both personal and professional settings.

MEASURE IT: The Adversity Response Profile (ARP) quantifies AQ,

Grit Quotient (GQ)

The concept of “grittiness” is closely linked to adversity, which Dr Angela Duckwork defines as a necessity for GQ, the passionate pursuit and perseverance towards long-term goals. Leaving a high-flying job in consulting, Duckworth took a job teaching math to seventh graders in a New York public school. She quickly realised that IQ wasn't the only thing separating successful students from those who struggled.

“One way to think about grit is to consider what grit isn't. Grit isn't talent. Grit isn't luck.” 

MEASURE IT: The Grit Scale measures the extent to which individuals can maintain focus and interest and persevere in obtaining long-term goals.

What’s next?

Which of the above resonates with you? Beyond the ideas listed here, in various books and articles, you’ll find mention of the leadership quotients (LQ), happiness quotient (HQ), digital quotient (DQ), moral quotient (MQ) and more. Of course, the validity and reliability of some of these measures may vary… and it’s helpful to approach them with a sense of critical thinking. Looking to the future, no doubt there will soon be a measure for one’s capacity to engage with AI — perhaps the robot quotient?

Welcome to the Weekly Connection! Thanks for being here. For new readers, this is my version of a casual Friday. Expect interesting links on work, creativity and well-being, what I’m reading, and the occasional cool-tool recommendation.

First, isn’t it incredible how a perspective can be changed by simply rotating a subject ninety degrees? Costa Spathis’ photograph illustrates how strongly a small change can impact a problem or a belief. Also, how serene is the expression of the first swimmer? 

🌥️ Why We Should Look Up at the Sky

Similar to the 90° rotation, according to this Science of Happiness podcast, looking up at the sky can improve creativity and focus, leading to awe. Natalie, a student at UC Berkeley, shares her experience of the practice on the show, highlighting how it got her brain getting better at being playful, creative, and thinking critically. The podcast is part of a special series on Awe, which also discusses how feeling awe can improve brain function.

💔 Divorce benefits

Hot off the press, the BBC wrote about employee divorce benefits this week. As we see people increasingly bringing their whole selves to work, I think it’s an interesting tactic for sophisticated HR functions — although it would be fantastic for many companies to sort out the basics first. Also, is it just for legally married employees, or do long-term partnerships count? There’s a lot to untangle.

👭 Women in Leadership Omnibus

Curated by Maggie McGrath, here are the 21 most inspiring and enduring Forbes articles on female entrepreneurs, executives and leaders who have defined the 21st century.

🗣️ How Can We Understand a Language but Not Speak It?

This article on language comprehension speaks to my heart (no pun intended). It turns out that separate brain areas are responsible for understanding and reproducing a language, making the two activities mutually exclusive. Wernicke’s area in the temporal lobe, located under the ears, comprehends language, while Broca’s area in the frontal lobe, behind the forehead, deals with speaking language.

🎧 Movement and expansion

“Afro-electro, indie French, and devotional beats for a summertime soundtrack”. I’m listening to this Summer Solstice 23 playlist from Third Ritual. One of my favourites so far is Makeba by Jain.

Have a great weekend,

Amber

P.S. If you're enjoying any great new music this July, please reply to this and tell me all about it!

This time of year often means a well-deserved rest period for many workers in the Northern Hemisphere. France considers les grand vacances (the big holiday) of August practically sacred. Disconnecting from work while on holiday can be challenging, but it's crucial for your well-being and enjoying your time off fully. 

Whether you are travelling around or just enjoying a staycation, here are some strategies to help you disconnect and create boundaries between work and play.

1. Plan ahead

Notify your colleagues and manager about your annual leave plans as far in advance as possible, and block out your calendar simultaneously (declining new meetings). This allows them to plan accordingly and reduces the likelihood of work-related interruptions. 

2. Set clear expectations

Communicate your boundaries and expectations regarding your availability while on vacation. Make it clear that you won't be accessible for work-related matters unless it's an emergency. Set an out-of-office message on your email and other communication platforms, mentioning your dates of absence and providing an alternative contact person if necessary.

Why? Because a) it lets other people find an alternative solution for any issues and b) it’s healthy and normal to have a break. Writer Penny Wincer talked about turning her out-of-office reply on for the first time in her newsletter — she said it so well I am simply going to quote en masse! 

“Yes that's correct, I have never used an out-of-office. Why? Well, firstly it has been 20 years since I had an actual job and since then I've been freelance and I just check my emails wherever I am. I ignore most of them if I'm holiday, but I do scan them for anything urgent or last minute jobs. And I always hated the idea that I would lose a freelance job because an out of office pinged back in response.

But it's time for that to change. 

There was a time, back when I was a full time photographer, that I kept secret about being pregnant, told clients I was 'booked' when really I had no childcare and generally pretended as if I was a person who had no life outside of my work. It might have been necessary for me at the time, but it really doesn't help anyone in the long run.”

3. Delegate and automate

It sounds simple but prioritise and delegate your tasks before leaving. Set realistic deadlines and plan your workload accordingly, ensuring you don't have looming deadlines while away.

While wrapping up critical tasks or projects is useful, you can hand off responsibilities to your colleagues or automate processes where possible. Doing so can reduce the chances of urgent work piling up.

For freelancers: Lucy Werner’s preparation for her maternity leave is a great prep example. She enlisted friends and colleagues to do guest takeovers of her monthly newsletter and programmed scheduled posts to keep her online presence “top of mind”. 

4. Disconnect digitally and physically

Resist the urge to check work emails or messages constantly. In the past, I have been known to delete Slack from my phone to ensure I don’t push my boundaries! Consider turning off notifications or setting specific times to review and respond to urgent matters, if necessary, briefly.

Avoid engaging in work-related discussions or browsing work-related platforms — if you do most of your business networking on Instagram, that counts too.

If you’re staying at home, create a physical separation: Designate a specific workspace in your home where you conduct your paid work. When you go on holiday, physically and mentally distance yourself from that space. Avoid using your work equipment or engaging in work-related activities during this time.

5. Establish an emergency protocol

Clearly define what constitutes an emergency and how you should be contacted. Provide specific instructions for reaching you only when necessary. Ensure the protocol is well-communicated to your team members, colleagues, and freelance clients. That said, expect people to test the waters “I know you said only urgent issues but…” and be prepared.

6. Do what makes you happy, but don’t over plan

Fill your time off with activities that help you relax and disconnect mentally. Engaging in hobbies, spending time with loved ones, exploring nature, reading, or pursuing other non-work-related activities can distract you from thinking about work.

The best advice I have is: don’t plan but do prepare. This means anticipating what you’d need for what you might want to do but making no firm plans or setting a whole swathe of relaxation expectations for yourself. 

7. Practice mindfulness

Are you thinking about work nonstop? Stay present in the moment and fully immerse yourself in your experience. Pay attention to the sights, sounds, and sensations around you.

Vacations can be a source of frustration and anxiety, too. Everyone’s circumstances and families differ; you can never predict the weather. Here are some suggestions for 10 minutes of mindfulness when tensions start to bubble up. 

Keeping a few of these actions in mind can create healthy boundaries and disconnect from work. TLDR: Give yourself permission to relax and detach from work without guilt or the fear of missing out. Taking care of yourself is the best way to maintain productivity and avoid burnout in the long run, so recharge and enjoy your break!